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A cuckold is the husband of an adulterous wife; the wife of an adulterous husband is a cuckquean. In biology, a cuckold is a male who unwittingly invests parental effort in juveniles who are not genetically his offspring. A husband who is aware of and tolerates his wife’s infidelity is sometimes called a wittol or wittold.
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In Western traditions, cuckolds have sometimes been described as “wearing the horns of a cuckold” or just “wearing the horns”. This is an allusion to the mating habits of stags, who forfeit their mates when they are defeated by another male.
In Italy (especially in Southern Italy, where it is a major personal offence), the insult “cornuto” is often accompanied by the sign of the horns. In French, the term is “porter des cornes“. In German, the term is “jemandem Hörner aufsetzen“, or “Hörner tragen“, the husband is “der gehörnte Ehemann“.
In Brazil and Portugal, the term used is “corno“, meaning exactly “horned”. The term is quite offensive, especially for men, and cornos are a common subject of jokes and anecdotes.
Rabelais’s Tiers Livers of Gargantua and Pantagruel (1546) portrays a horned fool as a cuckold. In Molière’s L’École des femmes (1662), a man named Arnolphe (see below) who mocks cuckolds with the image of the horned buck (becque cornu) becomes one at the end.
In Chinese usage, the cuckold (or wittol) is said to be “戴綠帽子” dài lǜmàozi, translated into English as ‘wearing the green hat’. The term is an allusion to the sumptuary laws used from the 13th to the 18th centuries that required males in households with prostitutes to wrap their heads in a green scarf (or later a hat).
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Unlike the traditional definition of the term, in fetish usage a cuckold (also known as “cuckolding fetish”) is complicit in their partner’s sexual “infidelity”; the wife who enjoys “cuckolding” her husband is called a “cuckoldress” if the man is more submissive. The dominant man engaging with the cuckold’s partner is called a “bull”.
If a couple can keep the fantasy in the bedroom, or come to an agreement where being cuckolded in reality does not damage the relationship, they may try it out in reality. This, like other sexual acts, can improve the sexual relationship between partners. However, the primary proponent of the fantasy is almost always the one being humiliated, or the “cuckold”: the cuckold convinces his lover to participate in the fantasy for them, though other “cuckolds” may prefer their lover to initiate the situation instead. The fetish fantasy does not work at all if the cuckold is being humiliated against their will.
Psychology regards cuckold fetishism as a variant of masochism, the cuckold deriving pleasure from being humiliated. In his book Masochism and the Self, psychologist Roy Baumeister advanced a Self Theory analysis that cuckolding (or specifically, all masochism) was a form of escaping from self-awareness, at times when self-awareness becomes burdensome, such as with perceived inadequacy. According to this theory, the physical or mental pain from masochism brings attention away from the self, which would be desirable in times of “guilt, anxiety, or insecurity”, or at other times when self-awareness is unpleasant.
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- Beta male
- Candaulism
- Crime of passion
- Cuckoldry in fish
- Cuckquean
- Erotic humiliation
- Female dominance
- Female promiscuity
- Feminization (activity)
- Human sperm competition
- Monogamish
- Non-paternity event
- Open marriage
- Paternity fraud
- Polyamory
- Polyandry, marriage to multiple husbands
- Pregnancy fetishism
- Swinging
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